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Not Perfect (not even close)

     Do you ever get tired of feeling like you never say or do the right thing at the right time? I sure do! I always think about what I should have said or done long after the moment is passed. The more I think about it the dumber I feel. “Why can’t I just ‘be’ like the other godly women I know?” “Why do I constantly mess up?” These are questions that battle my mind quite often. I just don’t ever feel like I have it together. Take Sunday morning for instance: my husband was ushering so I was in charge of both of our kids for the first little bit of church. No big deal right? It should be easy. I have 2 kids not 8, so there should be no worries. WRONG! My kids sure know how to pick the days that they are not gonna behave and Sunday was one of them. Here’s just a bit of my Sunday morning: as soon as I sat down my son started to whine (he has a whine like no one else, as my sister so lovingly put it) and he would not stop whining. His nose was running also, so I took him to the bathroom 3 or 4 times just to blow his nose. So my son is whining/crying and I’m trying to get him to quiet down and then my daughter (who’s wearing a dress), decides that church pews are not for sitting on (that’s optional) and she’s all over everything, not even close to sitting like a lady. So here I am trying to keep my cool (which has been tested a lot by now), and be a good mom and look like I have it all under control. Meanwhile, underneath my (hopefully) controlled expression I just want to break down and cry. I love my kids very, very much but sometimes they are too much to handle by myself. So needless to say, I’m sure that I lost my cool (I know I did, just a little) and looked a little less than close to godly. But, I have to remember and keep reminding myself; it’s not about me, it’s all about him.
Matthew 19:26 “ With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
So, remembering that, it’s easy to deal with my imperfections because it’s impossible for me to be as perfect a mom as I would like to be. I will never be ‘put together’ as long as my kids are small that’s for sure! But as long as I keep remembering why I’m here and who I serve, it gives my life meaning.
Have a wonderful day!!
Andrea
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